Beautiful Day

Today is the kind of day that you should have been with us to see.

Everything I promised you. It's here. Hand over fist, I'm reaping big bouyant handfuls of joy.

But in the back of my mind to the front

Why?

I heard your song, and it plays in my head.

Did you leave because it was a final act of kindness?

Are you gone because there's easier prey to be had?

I know what I did to you.

I stayed.
And we were there.
Through it all.

Every night and every Sunday.
Through the worst.

I watched you spit roasted and heard the applause. I bore witness.

And though what you did to them was also done to me--

I stayed with you.
To get you through it all.

Intact.

Thing is--

I can't put back together what you tear off yourself.

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My anger some days is blinding.
My grief is all that I have to comfort after she's gone to bed.

I swim in it sometimes
Because I don't want to understand.

You were made for better.

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I didn't do what I did to entrap you.
You do not belong to me and never did.
Weve been through a lot together.
And that deserves acknowledgement.

What I wanted was kindness.
Because that's what I chose to give.
And that is what I wanted.

We are the ones for you.
Family. The ties that bind.
Together or Separate.
Your place is still here.

But until you're brave enough to see it--

I can't enable your cruelty.
That is where it's my fault too.

No more chances.

You have to get it right.

Your past can't catch you if you keep thinking about tomorrow.