Sincerely--
I'm getting sick of not learning what I want to. But the risk atm is still too great to make waves. But honestly, if you're not going to teach me something that's useful--let me go home to my baby. Between this crap and playing the fetch-and-carry at work, I'm about to tear my hair out.
Friend keeps saying that I should switch programs to the beefier one. And I'd like to--but my nervousness over getting stuck routing cable over-and-over and not really learning anything--and becoming unemployable in the long term--it's something I feel like I'm already experiencing--is a definite concern.
I'm overwhelmed with just that. Compound it with the divorce, and I'm completely tanked.
That, by the way--I don't know. I want to run away as hard and as far away as I can. I'm sick of being horrified and angry and in pain. I don't care anymore and I want it in the past since "never happened" isn't an option. He asked me and Ms. Baby to lunch and I spent a day having flashbacks and crying fits in a honey bucket. Definitely a fun thing for me as the only woman on a site. But--Having found people who care about me--and ARE NICE to me--it breaks my fucking heart--and I am ever so grateful.
Lol--luckily I found the worlds FUNNEST playground on my scheduled "decompression" walk. I fell off things about 3xs, straddled a cannon, and lounged on a dead tree until the mosquitos found me.
Seriously.
Seriously.
Fuck.
This class needs to stop being such a waste of time.
