Safety crush tried to make small talk with me yesterday. And I tried so hard to be charming, and smile big...but im pretty sure that it didn't actually make it to my face.
And he gave me a big, glowy wave as I was leaving today. And I made sure I glowed right back.
Prolly looked maniacal...
We got done 2 hours early...was kinda hoping for an invite to coffee...but not actually because I'd have to turn him down and then this whole stupid little thing would stop being something I can look forward to. But he wasn't leaving until I was already in my car so...the fantasy is safe.
Aaaaand -- Im almost to the point where I can laugh at what a loser that fucker that left us is. And then I catch myself and I'm like "don't do it too loud because that asshole is crazy".
No recoiling panic attack with that thought though.
Someday though, when everyone else is even more over me be afraid than I am, the thoughts are going to not have been there for years. And I'll find out that he died somewhere.
And I'll be like "so what"
Until then, there's the safety crush.
Gonna read my book.
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